It's that time where office politeness and politics clashes with sheer honesty and brutality. This is only in relation to the individual in the office who you really don't know, you have no clue who they are or why they are there. Or simply you hate the fucker, finding him an arrogant office lout questioning firstly how did they get into the senior position they did but secondly thanking the gods that they're fucking off out of the office never having to hear their poor jokes that people will laugh at just to stay on his side because he could take you down to rubble with his position and sly schemes.
That note bearing in mind, What direction to choose? Does one go with the sympathetic, polite option where one would reluctantly hand over their hard earned cash that can be no less than £5 or the games up! The office PA clocks that you slip in only a two pound coin. She notices that one coin will not suffice from the sound of it dropping into the brown paper collection bag, less sound would have indicated a £5 note plus, but the clink of one coin can only expose your dislike for this individual, plus the raised eyebrow of the PA informs one that you will be office talk for the next few days. you now have to work with your head hung low knowing you've signed your name on the envelope and in the card with the safe testament of 'good luck with everything you do best....' A safe comment yet fully indicating your full resentment of the departed with no real intention of 'good luck' hoping never to see them again and their career going to shit. Where others have paid there full price and more, your contribution is almost null and void or the gift; which often is a voucher or some 'hilarious' in-joke product that you have no fucking clue about is less your percentage than the rest of the office, hell, the joke could be on you, fuck!
If you do give the full £5, well done! yet it still displays that you are not a friend of his, almost like paying someone minimum wage you would never consider giving a penny more to this arsehole, yet again your cloak of deception is uncovered but you have the higher ground knowing that your money is as good as everyone else. You may have to opt for a cheaper lunch now that the office moron is getting a rare book and a card with his head photoshopped onto a monkey for comical effect, hilarious! is it necessary as he's a Neanderthal already?
Or you don’t give any money at all, do not sign the card and over-glance the envelope while swiftly moving it to the desk beside you while pretending to have chipped-in. Well your just a cunt and should be fired on the spot. even the tosspot who’s leaving wouldn’t sink that low.
Don’t be an arsehole for hating the arsehole.
